I recently studied an excellent article by David Bednar where he quoted Neal Maxwell’s thoughts on not shrinking during the ups and downs of life. This helped him during his fight with leukemia to focus on living, learning and becoming. This also helped him endure well until the end. Each day became much more than a day of survival. Each day became a fight against shrinking. Each day became a day of becoming.
I am becoming more confident in what to expect during each round of chemotherapy. We begin round two on Friday, August 5. The past three weeks have been about what I expected. I will be honest, there have been challenging moments as I learn to manage side effects. The gift in my life right now is I can better predict what I can do each day. These are definitely the “better” days — the final few before the medication is administered and the cycle begins again. My joy comes as I try to enjoy and appreciate every minute. Here is the GOOD NEWS — based on my most recent Nadir appointment, I am tolerating the chemotherapy quite well. I am ready to jump in for the next good fight!!
I am becoming immersed in rich study. I find myself compelled to seek learning through many different means: articles, talks, scriptures, art, poetry, reflection, and conversation. Beautiful music also deepens my understanding of sacred and reverent things. As I seek learning, I find a more excellent way.
I am becoming more aware of how important it is to be present in living. I carefully measure the energy required for my most important experiences and try and prepare to participate in the best things in my life. My goal is to focus on the the things I love most at home, work, and in service to others.
I am becoming more grateful for a loving husband who serves without thought of himself. He is my steady rock. He is the kindest man that I know. It is hard for him to watch me go through treatment. It is hard not knowing the outcome of the chemotherapy. Each day, he quietly communicates his love to me.
I will continue to focus on becoming. I will continue to fight shrinking. I will continue to live and learn. I will continue to be grateful for dear family and friends — love you all! Throughout the journey, I will become sanctified as I anchor myself in faith and hope.